I Think it Was Here, Because it Never Was There
by Arianna555
Summary: Sure Jess and Rory are friends. But could they be more than that? And can Rory help Jess realize what's really important? A basic literati... [x]
1. I wanted magic shows and miracles

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or anything in it. The chapter titles are from the finale song in the musical "Pippin." I just thought it fit this story best of the songs I currently have all the lyrics to…

A/N: This is my first try writing a Literati story, so it's probably not very good. Sorry! It's just set in Stars Hollow and has basically nothing to do with anything that's happened in the show. It's written from Jess' POV. I hope you like it. (Italics are Jess' thoughts.) 

   ~Arianna

He looked at her, eating lunch with Lorelai at their usual table, then glanced away before she noticed him looking at her. _Why can't she look back at me and smile and understand, the way she does with Dean?_

"Jess! Can you take over for a minute? I've got to go help Caesar." That was Luke. _Forget it. Rory's got Dean. And she hates me anyway. Less than everybody else around here, but still. _Jess grabbed the plates and set them down at the table by the window.

"Not too busy around here," Luke remarked to Jess when he came back.

"No."

"Go on upstairs, I can handle it."

"Fine." It wasn't that he was mad at Luke, he just didn't feel like talking. He didn't feel like talking much around Luke—he wasn't sure exactly why. Jess went up to the apartment and opened Oliver Twist.  _Dodger. That's what Rory called me._ He had to stop thinking about that. As much as he liked Rory, she had a boyfriend. He tried to read. And, for once, he couldn't. _Might as well go help Luke._

Luke looked slightly surprised to see Jess downstairs again, but said nothing, and continued taking orders. Jess started cleaning up tables.

"Hey." He looked up. Rory?

"Hey." _Why is she over here?_

"You okay?"

"Why?"

"I don't know," Rory answered. "You just seemed kind of upset of something." She shrugged. "I wondered. After all, you have to pour the coffee."

"Oh, I'm fine. Enough." 

"Okay, see you."

"Yeah." She left. Jess knew he had a problem. Rory had a boyfriend, yeah. But he—Jess—wanted to be her boyfriend. Or at least her friend. So why didn't he talk to her? And why did he act like he always wanted her to go away? And why didn't she hate him…if she didn't.

"Luke?" Jess asked.

"What now?"

"I'm going out."

"Fine," Luke replied. Jess picked up his book and left the diner. He didn't have anything to do. But he didn't want to be in there right now. Rory had said that after all, he had to pour the coffee. Was that all? But Rory wasn't like that—and Luke poured the coffee more often than Jess did. Rory was just a nice person. She'd say that to almost anyone. Maybe. And had he really seemed upset? Or—no. No. He was not going to think about that.

Jess was never like this. He couldn't stop thinking about Rory. And what he thought—it was so not like him. But there never had been anyone like Rory in New York.

He looked across the street. And coincidentally, there was Dean, with Rory. Jess wished he hadn't looked. He didn't like Dean. Never had. And him being with Rory didn't make Jess like him any more. Jess sat down at the edge of the bridge and looked out over the water, trying to think. He couldn't really. And then he heard a voice behind him.

"Jess?"

"Rory?" _Is it really? Really?_

"Yeah, it's me."

"Why are you here?" he said suddenly.

"I thought you'd be here." _Why was she looking for me? Me, not Dean—_Stop it, Jess told himself. Stop.

"You were looking for me?"

"Uh huh."

"Weren't you just with Dean?" _How stupid can you get, Mariano? Say that, of all things._ He was glad she was there. He was really glad she had been looking for him. For whatever reason.

"Uh, no. Not really. I just—wanted to know if you were okay."

"I am."

"Jess, you left Luke's, you're sitting on the bridge, with a book, and you're not reading. I know you're not okay." She stopped and looked at him. Jess couldn't think of anything to say. She was right. "Well, if you want to talk about anything…" Yeah, he did. But he couldn't tell her.

"Why are you doing this?" He had to know, had to know right now if she cared about him, at all, in any way.

"Hey, if you want a friend, I wouldn't mind."

"Friends are good." _Is she really saying what I think she's saying?_ Rory sat down next to him on the bridge.

"Come on, Jess. What's wrong?" _So she wants to be my friend. But I can't tell her. Not about this._

"I'm okay. Just a bad day."

"Oh." She wasn't leaving. Did she really want to be here?

"So—things are good?"

"Yeah, things are good," Rory replied.

"Still going to Harvard?"

"I hope so."

"Things with you and Dean are good?" He didn't expect her to actually answer that one. Rory turned away.

"Yeah, they're—they're good."

Jess knew there was something she wasn't saying. But it wasn't like he had told her everything. He really couldn't—he was upset because of Rory. And he didn't want her to know.

Second A/N: I think I'm going to do the next chapter, continuing RIGHT after this one ends, in Rory's POV. I don't entirely know where I'm going with this, except that Rory will end up with Jess, but first they'll be friends and there will be some sort of conflict, probably involving Dean. It also has to have something to do with Jess deciding he wants to stay in Stars Hollow instead of New York. I know pretty much how I want it to end, but not everything that happens in the middle. If you have any ideas, please email me! (I can't promise that I'll use any, though. But I'd like ideas anyway!) I still have to type another already written chapter for Always and Forever, and I don't have any more of this written. But I'll keep working on it, unless nobody likes it, more should be up within a week or so, maybe a little more.  Please review; I'll really appreciate it!!  

      ~Arianna


	2. Mirages to touch

Chapter 2- Mirages to Touch

Rory's POV

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or anything in Gilmore Girls, as I'm sure you all know. The chapter titles are from the finale song in the musical "Pippin."

A/N: I'm sorry it took so long to get this chapter up! I've had it written for a long time, but I left the notebook it was in somewhere where there was no computer. It's a long story. However, up to the fourth chapter is also done, so I'll post those right away. I'm almost done with the 5th, but I'm still rewriting it to keep Jess in character. Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, and please review if you haven't! I'll really appreciate it! This starts _right_ after chapter 1 ends, by the way.  ~Arianna

"Well, I'd better go," I said. "My mom's waiting for me at home…" I didn't really want to leave. I just didn't know what to say. What I said wasn't entirely true. Things with Dean and me were okay. But not good like they used to be. I didn't _think_ it was because of Jess. But even if it were, I wasn't mad at him.

"Okay," Jess replied. He almost looked disappointed.

"So we're good?" I said. "Friends?"

Jess, of all people, sort of smiled. "Friends," he answered. I was glad.

"There you go, being monosyllabic again."

"I'll try to stop," he said.

"Okay, see ya." I grinned.

"See ya."

I walked home, very happy. I couldn't tell exactly why.

"I'm home!" I called.

"Hey, get in here!" my mom shouted. I hurried in. She looked at me. I was still smiling, looking excited. "Why are _you_ so happy?"

"I just am," I replied.

"Where were you?"

"Around." She looked closely at me. 

"You were with Jess."

I didn't see any point in lying. She would find out eventually, she's Lorelai. Besides, I tell her everything. "How can you tell?" I asked.

"Rory." I knew what she meant.

"No, don't worry. We're just friends. That's all."

"He likes you, you know," Mom said matter-of-factly. She was right, as usual.

"Maybe he does. But…he wouldn't hurt me."

"I think I know that by now." As much as Mom doesn't like Jess…I was surprised. "Are you sure you don't like him too?" _No, no, I think I do, but I can't! I've got Dean…right? Why isn't it the same anymore? What happened?_

"We're friends." I didn't trust myself to say anything else, afraid I might tell my mom that I did like Jess. Or that I didn't know…but I might like Jess.

"Okay, but Rory, if you're not happy being with Dean….he—"

"Mom! Dean. Is. My. Boyfriend." She held up her hands in innocence.

"Being quiet now."

"Hey...I'll think about it," I said. She smiled.

"I need coffee. However, I also need to get to the Inn. Right away. Before Michel destroys the entire place by himself. Meet you at Luke's at…five-thirty?"

"Sounds good." Mom left to go to the Inn. I picked up Katharine Graham's autobiography, sat on the couch, and started reading. I didn't have much left of the book, and finished it about twenty minutes later. I went to my room to get a novel, and continued reading.

More than an hour later, in the middle of Jane Eyre for the third or fourth time, I looked at my watch and jumped up to meet my mom at Luke's.

"Hi, Luke," I said as I walked in. "Is my mom here yet?"

"No," he replied. "You want to order, or wait?"

"I'll wait," I said, sitting at the counter and opening Jane Eyre again.

"Hey," someone said from behind me. It wasn't Lorelai.

"Hey, Jess." I turned around and smiled at him.

"Good book," he commented.

"Oh yeah," I agreed. Jess got up and poured a cup of coffee, gave it to me, and sat down next to me. "Thanks." I reached into my pocket for seventy-five cents.

"Hey, Rory. On me."

"Jess—"

"It's no problem. So what part are you at?"

"She's just gotten to Thornfield Hall."

"Oh, yeah."

"You've read this?"

"I've read that," he stated.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "It's just—"

Jess grinned. "Rory. It's a book."

"True." _That's one of the things I like about you, Jess—you say it's a book, and I know you've read it, and you're the only person I've ever met who's like that…_ I glanced around, wondering for a second where Lorelai was. Then I realized I didn't mind. I was really talking to Jess. Like friends. And if my mom were here…first of all, she'd tell me I liked him the second we got home. Most likely the second she sat down. And Jess wouldn't be here, sitting next to me and giving me coffee. "Hey," I said, noticing a sheet of paper on the counter. I reached over and pulled it closer so I could read it. It was a math paper. With Jess' name at the top. "Jess…"

"Forget that," he said.

"No. Why haven't you done any of this?"

"It doesn't matter. Look, there's what? Three weeks left of school?"

"Teachers have been known to make sudden grade decisions based on sudden increase of enthusiasm," I said.

"Not a chance, Rory. I've got to go help—" He started to get up. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back. 

"You can do this. I'll help you if you want." I didn't understand. I mean, he'd said he was too cool for school. He also told me, the first time I met him, that he didn't read much. Jess was so much smarter than nearly everyone else in his class. Jess, who read all those books—he could do this so easily if he wanted to. I knew if he failed the year it would only make it worse. And as his friend, I was determined to make him see it.

"Rory!" Mom rushed in. "You won't believe what Michel did. Hi Luke, hi Jess."

"See ya later, Rory," Jess told me.

"I am so not letting you off the hook here!" I yelled after him. I grinned. And listened to my mom's entertaining story. About Michel's supposed one-handed destruction of the Independence Inn.


	3. I wanted such a little thing from life

Chapter 3- I Wanted Such a Little Thing from Life

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or anything in it, as I'm sure you all know. The chapter titles are from the finale song of the musical "Pippin." Islandia is a real book (and a good one), written by Austin Tappan Wright. Jane Eyre is (also a good book) by Charlotte Bronte.

A/N: This is in Jess' POV, I plan to alternate in the chapters, unless I get an idea in which I can't. I hope you like it; I like the second chapter better than this one though. Please review!!   ~Arianna

I walked up to the apartment, not paying attention to Luke yelling after me. I was holding the math paper. All I could think about was what Rory had said to me. _Rory._

I'd talked to her like a friend, and it was great, but it hurt so much. I wished it could be more than that. I decided…so what if there's almost no school left. I got a pencil and started working on the math.

Then Luke came upstairs.

"Jess, what the heck are you doing? You said you'd help, we're completely crowded—"

"I'm working, okay?"

"I'm having a difficult time believing you," Luke said.

"Don't you think you should get back to the diner?"

"This is more important, Jess!" he yelled. I was shocked. This was more important…_I_ was more important? I couldn't think of anything to say. Luke walked over to me and looked over my shoulder. "You really are working." He shook his head. "Considering I'm never gonna get you to come down…fine. Stay here." Luke headed downstairs.

"I'll come help later," I called.

I did stay upstairs, working for a while, but because I hadn't listened in class for several weeks, I couldn't do it all. I opened Islandia and read for a few hours. Then the phone rang. After a second of debating, I picked it up.

"Hey," someone said.

"Rory?" Rory was calling me? Why? But maybe she just wanted to ask Luke something.

"Yeah, of course. Hi, Jess."

"Why are you calling?"

"Because I want to talk to you. And because…you know how I told you I'm not letting you off the hook?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Well, I'm not."

"What is that supposed to mean?" I grinned.

"Want to come over and study with me?" I was amazed. She actually…she really did want to help me.  "My mom's at the Inn," Rory added.

"Sure."

"Bring your math, okay?"

"Rory…"

"Jess…"

"Okay, see you there."

"Bye!" I hung up. _Rory called me, asked me to come over. _It was just as a friend, but it was still great. I got my books and walked to Rory's house. Luke didn't even notice me leaving. She opened the door.

"Hey, come on in." She was just wearing jeans and a sweater, but she looked great. I followed her into the living room.

"Still reading Jane Eyre?" I asked her.

"Yeah. I couldn't finish it that fast!" She grinned. "I've got a big paper to do."

"What subject?" 

"English Lit. It's on Emily Dickinson."

"Ah. I prefer Dickens, Hemingway…"

"You would." I could tell she meant it in a good way. "What are you reading now?"

"I just started Islandia."

"I've heard that's really good," Rory replied.

"What, you haven't read it?" I said. Rory shook her head.

"Not yet." We sat down on the couch. Both of us were quiet for a while.

"So…I started working on it," I told her. Her face lit up.

"That's great!" She stopped and looked at me. "Jess, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why? Why…don't you care more about school? Why haven't you listened? Why aren't you acing everything?" I didn't know what to tell her. I didn't know how to answer. Remembering being yelled at and getting in trouble, out walking through New York as a kid and being scared…I couldn't explain it to Rory.

"Because I can't," I answered.

"No, Jess! You're smarter than just about everyone in Stars Hollow High. You can do anything. " _Not anything_, I thought. _I can't tell Rory that I care about her. I wish I could. _

"I can _not_." I thought about what I'd always wanted when I was younger. Just to be myself, and read, and not have to worry about what was going to happen when I got home. And then I got older and I realized that things weren't going to be that way… I got up, suddenly, and left the room. I was scared I was going to lose control, and I didn't want to cry in front of Rory.

I couldn't help it. It was about Rory. And what I'd remembered. And that Rory was right; I didn't have the best chance at a good college anymore, even though she hadn't said that. And everything. Rory was the only person I could ever talk to, the only person who actually started to think that I wasn't such a bad guy. The only person who knew I read Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte. She knew me better than anyone. But she still didn't really know me very well… 

   


	4. I wanted so much

Chapter 4 – I Wanted So Much

Rory's POV

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls or anything in it, as you all know. Any book references belong to the authors/publishers of the books, not me.

A/N: Okay, here's the next chapter. I hope you like it. I know Jess might seem a little out of character crying and everything, but I wanted to write him this way for later in the story. I hope he still seems like Jess. You know what I mean? Thanks for reading this, and please review! Thanks SO much to everyone for all the great reviews!!  ~Arianna

I had entirely meant what I'd said. Jess _was_ smart. And he really could do anything. But the look on his face—I'd seen the pain in his eyes, right before he left— I got up to look for him, as quickly as I could. 

He was just in the other room, sitting on the couch there, shaking, his face in his hands. I knew he was crying. I also knew he didn't want me to see him cry.

I sat down next to him. He wiped his eyes quickly.

"Jess…"

"I'm fine."

"I know you better than that!" Jess _never_ cried. I put my arm around him.

"Rory, I'm okay!"

"Jess," I said softly. "It's okay." Jess wiped his eyes again and looked at me.

"I'm 'the rebel' of Stars Hollow. I'm not supposed to cry."

"I won't tell anyone," I promised. Jess smiled slightly.

"Thanks."

"Want to talk?"

"Are you gonna make me?"

"No. But I am gonna make you study."

"I'll talk." 

"Okay. Tell me what I said…"

"It wasn't you." That I was kind of glad of. I didn't want to hurt Jess. I cared about him. Now I knew it.

"So what's wrong?"

"When I was a kid, back in New York…I…wanted to be like you, Rory. What I mean is…" Jess stopped. I couldn't believe what he'd just said.  "This is really hard to admit."

"I understand. Hey, we can talk some other time. Get your math books!" Now I was grinning. Jess did too.

"Oh, bossy." I laughed. 

"Did you get it all?"

"I did pretty well, considering the amount of time I've been in school the past few weeks." He leaned over and showed it to me.

"Yeah, you did." I paused, then continued, needing to know the answer to what I was about to ask. "Jess, are you okay?"

"Oh yeah. I just lost control there, remembering…I haven't cried in…years."

"Okay."

"Rory, where is Dean right now?" _Why are you asking me that? Can't you see it hurts?_

"Jess, don't do this."

"I want to know. Does 'anyone' apply to your boyfriend?" _My boyfriend…but is he really?_ I saw a flash of pain in his eyes again. Did he really think I would tell Dean something he didn't want me to? I wasn't like that. Jess knew me well enough to know that, didn't he?

I stared at Jess for a second. "You really think I would do that to you?" I felt awful. Was that why Jess wouldn't talk to me? Because he thought I would tell Dean what he said?

"Rory—" Why was he doing this? "No, I don't…" He didn't, really? How did I know that?

"Didn't you say you had to go help Luke?"

"Rory, I—"

"He's probably waiting."

"Fine, I'll go!" He was mad. He wanted me to listen. Maybe I should have. I hadn't meant to yell like that. I just thought…I thought he trusted me. After he left, I walked to the bridge, made sure Jess wasn't there, sat down and cried. I hoped no one would find me.

I heard footsteps after a few minutes.

"Hey." I didn't answer. Jess came over to sit next to me. "Listen, Rory…I didn't mean that."

"Really didn't?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

"I would never tell anyone anything you said!"

"I know." We were both silent for a while. "Rory, something's wrong, isn't it?"

"It's Dean," I said. I decided to tell Jess—he would find out soon enough. And I didn't think he would tell anyone. I didn't want to talk to my mom first, because then I would probably get a lecture about Jess…I'd tell her later. "He didn't do anything…But things aren't the same anymore. I don't want to hurt him, but I don't know if…" I started crying.

Jess hesitantly put his arm around me, and I put my head on his shoulder. "Thanks," I said quietly.


	5. She showed me crimson, gold, and lavende...

Chapter 5 – She showed me crimson, gold, and lavender

Jess' POV

Disclaimer: As I know you all know, I don't own anything to do with Gilmore Girls. I don't own any book or author references either.

A/N: Thanks SO much for all the amazing reviews! I really never expected to get great feedback like that! To Sirius, Katie, twinkletoes, Angel Monroe, Alliegirl, and Lioness-07863—thank you!!!!! Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, it was supposed to be up Friday, but I couldn't type it then, so now here it is! Hope you like it! Chapter 6 is done too, and I'm working on chapter 7 but I'm having a hard time deciding what will happen. Those will hopefully be up by Tuesday. And FYI, there should be Literati stuff in chapter 8, 9 if not 8. I'm probably going to run out of lines from this song for title chapters before I'm done, lol. Enjoy!  ~Arianna

I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to comfort Rory, but it was my fault that she was crying. And I really didn't know what to tell her. So I just held her and let her cry.

Rory pulled away after a while. I kept my arm around her.

"You okay?" I said.

"I guess." She was still leaning on me, and I was glad.

"Is there anything you want to talk about? Because there's no one I could tell." I smiled at her.

"Jess, don't say that."

"Sorry."

"No, I know you didn't mean it like that."

"So is there anything?" I asked quietly.

"I don't know. I don't know how I feel…but thanks for being here, Jess."

"Don't thank me." I couldn't tell her how much that meant to me. "I made you cry, it's my fault." It was, and I knew it.

"Hey, the Dean thing isn't your fault."

"You sure?" I waited for her to answer.

"Yeah," she said, smiling at me. "Let's talk about books. I need to think about something else."

"Something I'm good at, I replied.

"You could be good at anything you wanted to. But you're the only person I know who reads like I do." I grinned at that. _She and I have more in common than she and Dean do._

"I guess we shouldn't get into Ayn Rand," I remarked. Rory laughed.

"No, for your sake!" she said. "How's Islandia?"

"It's good…the main character goes to Harvard, you know.

"I'd heard that."

"Got any books on your list, after Jane Eyre?"

"Well, I've read it before, but not for a while—I'm thinking A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court." I definitely remembered that book.

"I loved that book," I told her, honestly.

"Really?"

"Oh, yeah. Don't tell anyone, but I used to want to go to Camelot."

"No way!" she exclaimed, laughing. "That's so not you."

"Yeah, well."

"I see. I wonder what everyone would say if they knew that Stars Hollow's resident rebel reads Jane Austen and wants to visit Camelot," Rory surmised.

"Don't you dare."

"I was kidding, Jess."

"Does coffee make you do this?" I grinned at her. "We've got to get you off caffeine."

"No, don't turn into Luke!" Rory was trying not to laugh, I knew.

"Scary thought."

"Yeah," she agreed, smiling. She put her head on my shoulder. It felt really good.

"Rory…" I didn't want to do this, but I had to. "Rory, do you think…I…don't want to mess things up for you. With you—" I hated to say it—"and Dean."

"Oh, Jess. That's really nice of you."

"So, not me, huh?"

"No, that's you. You just don't show it most of the time." I didn't know how to reply to that. But I was glad Rory thought so. Really glad. Suddenly I felt like someone was watching me. I turned slightly to the left to see, but no one was there. Rory checked her watch.

"Oh, I've got to meet my mom at the Inn!" she cried. "I'm sorry, Jess." She jumped up. I got up too.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" I said. "Hey, I'll walk you as far as the diner."

"Thanks." We walked off the bridge together. _I'm walking with Rory._ Then it hit me. _Rory talked to me about Dean. She said 'the Dean thing' wasn't my fault. The Dean thing? Did that mean she was thinking…did that mean there was a chance we could be more than friends? Please let there be a chance…_

Sure I'd always liked Rory. Loved her, maybe. Jess from New York would never care about anyone like that. I couldn't help it, though. And I had to admit I liked it. At least, I liked the idea. But I'd never let myself hope it would actually happen. Because if it didn't…I couldn't stand it. I couldn't get through it.

Maybe she didn't know me very well. But no one else wanted to, and she did. That meant a lot to me.

The "friends" I'd had in New York. They would never know me now. Maybe that was good. Yeah, I was different. But maybe better in some ways?


	6. A shining parade

Chapter 6 – A shining parade

Rory's POV

Disclaimer: Of course, I do not own anything to do with Gilmore Girls. There are lots of book and author references in this chapter, and I own none of those either! 

A/N: Good things happen in this chapter, as I think the title implies (This song is actually working really well for the chapters, I think), but I know there's some sad stuff in the story. It won't have a depressing ending, I promise! Thanks again to everyone for the reviews, they're GREAT! I hope you like this chapter. Also, there will be more action in future chapters (I mean important things happening, not literati stuff, though that will be included too, of course). So, on with the story!    ~Arianna

I was walking with Jess. I was walking with Jess. Okay, my mom had been right. I liked Jess, liked him a lot. I didn't…I still liked Dean. It just wasn't the same anymore.

We got to the diner.

"See ya in a few hours, right?" Jess called as he left.

"Of course! I can't go the rest of the day without Luke's coffee."

"Good. Because I still don't get that last problem."

I grinned. "Can't wait!" Then I hurried to the Independence Inn. My mom was standing behind the desk, filling out some papers.

"Hey," I said.

"Hiiii!"

"You're excited, huh?" I remarked.

"Yeah!"

"Want to tell me why?"

"Okay, Sookie came up with this great idea, you're gonna love it! Jackson has this friend who works for a literacy foundation, right? So Sookie decided to host this dinner, based on—drumroll please—classic novels. 18th century food, readings, book lists, the whole thing. It's five dollars per person; all the money is going to this charity."

My eyes lit up. "That sounds great!" I said, excited. "I can't wait, it's going to be so much fun."

"Yeah, I know. And we were hoping you could come up with about ten books to base it on, you know what I mean?"

"Sure!"

"The dinner's in almost three weeks, it's on Saturday."

"This is perfect. Even Taylor might like it." Mom stared at me. I laughed.

"So, you ready to go?"

"What, you're ready?"

"Oh yeah. Let's celebrate at Luke's!"

"To Luke's!" I agreed. This had actually been a great day. Mom and I hurried to Luke's and sat at the counter. Jess came over and poured the coffee.

"That was fast," he said, grinning.

"What can I say?" I replied, smiling back.

"What does he mean that was fast?" Mom whispered to me.

"Uh, he just asked earlier if I'd be at Luke's in a few hours."

"He did, did he?"

"Mom!" Jess came back over.

"Hey," he said to me, quietly. "Don't pay for your coffee, okay?"

"Not okay. Jess, I already owe you a dollar-fifty!"

"You don't owe me anything. This is for studying with me."

"Thanks," I said at last. Jess went back into the kitchen to refill the coffee. "Do not say anything," I warned my mom.

"I just remembered! I have to get something from Doose's before it closes! I'll be back!" My mom jumped up and ran outside.

"Jess?" I called, after she left.

"Yeah?" he came back over.

"Guess what?" I didn't give him a chance to guess. "In three weeks, there's going to be a literacy dinner at my mom's Inn. It's gonna be based on classic novels, and my mom asked if I would come up with a list of ten or so novels to base it on."

"Sounds like your kind of thing."

"Definitely. But I was wondering…would you like to help?"

"Really?"

"Who else would be better at it than you?"

"You got your list here?" I pulled a folded sheet of paper out of my pocket.

"Ready and waiting."

"The Sun Also Rises."

"Oh, right, the only good Hemingway." 

"One of the many good Hemingway books," Jess countered.

"Fine then," I said, grinning. "Next is The Fountainhead."

"Oliver Twist."

"Great Expectations," I added quickly. "Now it gets difficult."

"How?" You mean you can't list 100 of your favorite books?"

"_Jess_. 200. The hard part is choosing the six or seven best books of those not already mentioned."

"They have to be different authors, right?" Jess asked.

"Yeah, they do," I answered. "There has to be one by Charlotte or Emily Bronte, one by Jane Austen—"

"Faulkner. Tolstoy?" Jess wondered aloud.

"I don't know…" I loved talking about books with Jess. He was the only person I'd ever known who understood the way I thought about books, my opinions on authors, on stories, on different kinds of novels. There wasn't anyone else in Stars Hollow I could argue with about Ayn Rand and Hemingway. And I knew I was probably the only person, except maybe Luke, who knew that Jess read Bronte and Austen.

"You have to include Pride and Prejudice," Jess told me, bringing me back to Luke's Diner from my thoughts about Jess.

"Oh, definitely," I agreed, writing it down. "That's probably most classic of Jane Austen's novels."

"No," Jess disagreed, "Mansfield Park is."

"I liked that a lot, but…" We talked for a long time. I didn't notice how weird it was that Luke wasn't yelling at Jess to pour the coffee. After about an hour, I realized that Lorelai hadn't come back. By that time Jess and I had come up with a list of books that included Dickens, Austen, Hemingway, Bronte, Rand, Faulkner, Melville, and Proust. I was still arguing with him about Gore Vidal and Eudora Welty.

I hadn't seen Dean in two days, and I didn't miss him. Not really.

"Jess…" I said at last. "I'm sorry, I have to go."

"Thanks for talking to me, Rory," he said.

"Hey. I'll read Farewell to Arms. I promise." Jess grinned.

"Way ahead of you. I'm almost halfway through The Fountainhead."

I smiled happily. Jess was reading a book he hated because I liked it. He was reading it for me. And the truth was, I'd promised to read Farewell to Arms because I knew he'd want me to.

"Are you liking it so far?" I asked.

"I thought you had to go."

"I did. I do. I just—" Jess put his hand on my arm.

"I didn't mean I want you to leave."

"I know. Bye, Jess."

"See ya later," he answered.


	7. But there's no color I can have on Earth

Chapter 7 – But there's no color I can have on Earth

Jess' POV

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Gilmore Girls, nor do I own any book or author references, or the titles of these chapters, which you all know because of my previous disclaimers.

A/N: Once again, thanks so much to everyone for the reviews, they're all really, really great and always make me want to write more! Thank you! This chapter is more of Jess' thoughts than dialogue, I know there's no Jess/Rory interaction but there is next chapter! Something also happens in next chapter that I think Literati fans will like, but I don't want to give it away now. There is one swear word in this chapter, but it'll be either the only one or one of only two in this story, and it's not bad, so I'm keeping this G. Please tell me if you think I should raise the rating. I basically never swear, but 'darn' doesn't really sound like Jess! I'm also thinking about writing another fic, based on an upcoming episode, if I get any ideas. Sorry this took so long, my internet connection was completely messed up last Monday, so I couldn't post it. Hope you like this!   ~Arianna

I watched Rory leave the diner, then cleaned up the counter and headed up to the apartment. Luke was still up.

"Hi, Jess," he said.

"Hi Luke," I said absentmindedly, moving piles of stuff around, looking for my book.

"Jess. We need to talk."

"What about? And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Sit down." Luke pointed. I did. "What are you trying to do?" he said angrily.

"Excuse me?"

"You think I don't see you around her? You think the whole town doesn't see you around her?"

"Are you talking about Rory?"

"Yes I'm talking about Rory!" Luke yelled. "She's got a boyfriend! And you're—you're—"

"I'm what?" I demanded. "We're friends, that's all." _I wish we were more than that._

Luke sighed. "The way she looks at you, Jess. She _likes _you.  I don't want you to hurt her."

"I would never hurt her."

"It's breaking your heart, huh?" Luke said to me. I didn't want to admit it, but he was right.

"Yeah," I said at last, "I guess it is."

"What were you doing at her house today? Tell me the truth, Jess."

"Studying," I answered.

"Uh huh."

"Ask Rory if you insist," I snapped.

"So you really like her."

I looked right at Luke. "I really, really like her. I…"

"I know." I knew Luke understood. I'd seen the way he looked at Lorelai. I knew Rory had too. "Maybe you should stop…hanging around with her so much."

"No."

"You're gonna break her heart, Jess." 

I gave up looking and stood up. "I'm leaving."

"We are not done here!"

"I didn't know that. I'm going out, bye."

"Fine then, you're closing up. You're working all day tomorrow. You're—"

"I have school."

"What's the difference? At least here you're thinking, if only about not spilling the coffee." I reached into my pocket, pulled out my latest English quiz, and shoved it in his face. "Talk to you later, Uncle Luke."

"Dickens…Vidal…Trollope…100%? This is great, Jess! Why—" I slammed the door of the apartment and left the diner. I started walking, not thinking about where I was going, and I found myself at the bookstore. I went in.

"Hey jerk," Andrew called from the desk. "We close in twenty minutes!"

"Noted," I replied, heading to the literature section. I glanced through the shelves quickly, and something caught my eye—The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand. I smiled slightly and picked it up. Andrew looked at it, then at me, and entered it into the computer.

"That'll be $12.50." I gave him a twenty. "This is a favorite of a certain girl in town."

"Yeah," I replied, not realizing that I was grinning.

"So, she broke up with Dean?" _Wish I could say yes_. 

"What makes you think that?"

He shrugged. "You dating her?"

"She's my friend," I said shortly, taking the change and the book. "_Goodbye_." I left quickly, annoyed. _Why does he assume I'm seeing her just because I bought that book? _I continued walking, barely seeing anything in front of me. _Because I'm not the kind of guy who just reads The Fountainhead_, a voice answered in my head. I sighed. I didn't want to think about my life just then. So I went to the bridge, and sat down, and opened my book. It was a lot better than I'd thought it would be.

I actually did manage to forget my conversation with Luke while I read. And then, at the end of a chapter, I remembered that I was supposed to be at Luke's, closing up. I put the book in my back pocket.

"Nice closing up job," Luke said when I got there.

"Look, I'm sorry, I meant to do it, okay? I was reading."

"Jess—"

"I will not talk," I informed him. "I am locking the door—" I went over and did that—"going upstairs, reading and listening to music. And yes I will use headphones."

"Jess—" Luke tried again.

"So I told you something for once! Don't expect it again. So you know how I feel about Rory. We're friends, that's all, that's it, it's fine. Goodnight!" I got upstairs as fast as I could and threw the book on the bed.

I got no credit in this town. Except from Rory. And maybe Luke, almost… But being around her was worth it, as much as it hurt. At least I knew someone did sort of care about me…

_Isn't this better than no one really knowing me at all? Rarely noticing I'm there, only seeing the word 'Austen' on the book I'm holding and teasing me about it? I guess so… _But I definitely couldn't tell Rory about what Luke said.

_Damn._  


	8. That won't finally fade

Chapter 8 – That won't finally fade

Rory's POV

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Gilmore Girls. I also don't own any book or author references.

A/N: Okay, I think Literati fans will like this chapter, but I won't tell you why here! I thought this was going to be really hard to write, but I actually like the way it ended up, and I hope everyone else does. Thanks to everyone for the reviews! I already have through chapter 11 written. Unfortunately, after chapter 12, there are no more lines to the song I'm using for the chapter titles! So if you have any ideas for another song I should use, or if you think I should make them up after that, please tell me! Again, I explained about the Jess-out-of-character thing. This starts right after Rory leaves the diner in the last chapter. Enjoy!          ~Arianna

"Now you do your end of the deal!" Mom shouted as I walked into the house. 

"What deal? What are you talking about? Why didn't you come back?"

"I left you alone with Jess. So in return, you tell me what happened."

"Mom! I asked him his ideas for the book list!"

"And?"

"And I argued with him about Hemingway and Eudora Welty."

"How can you like him if he doesn't like Eudora Welty?"

"Goodnight."

"It's eight-thirty!"

"True." I picked up the copy of Farewell to Arms that my grandpa had given me, one of my few unopened books. For now. Then I went to my room, smiling as I opened Farewell to Arms, thinking about Jess.

Mom came in. "Rory…"

"What?"

"Hmmm. Hemingway. You never read Hemingway."

"I am now. What is it?"

"Rory, just talk to me, okay?"

"Why?"

"I think we need to talk about Jess."

"Uh huh."

"Be honest. How do you really feel about him? Because—"

"I really don't know right now," I said. "But…but whether or not I like him like that, I think he needs a friend. He—no, I—I can't."

"What do you mean you can't tell me? Rory, what is going on?"

"Jess trusted me. He doesn't usually tell people anything and he told me. If I told anyone…it would ruin any chance of ever being together, plus our friendship. I can't do that to him; I wouldn't do it anyway." _Well, he didn't really tell me anything, _I thought. _But he told me more than he'd tell anyone else. As much as Jess acts the rebel-without-a-cause, he needs someone to care about him…_

"Okay then," Mom said at last. "We're good." I smiled.

"Night, Mom."

"Night, Rory."

I got up kind of late the next day. There wasn't enough time to go to Luke's, but I had plenty of time before my bus to Hartford. I grabbed my backpack and headed to the bus stop. Checking my watch, I realized I had more than fifteen minutes. So I pulled out my book.

"Rory?" I turned around.

"Hey, Dean!" He sat down next to me.

"Rory, uh…I had no idea you liked the lake so much."

"What do you mean by that?" I demanded.

"I saw you, Rory. At the bridge. You and Jess. His arm around you. You leaning on him." Dean looked away. "You talking to him like you never did with me."

"Dean, it wasn't that. It was…" I had no idea what to tell him. How could I say that I had been crying because I thought Dean and I were…

"You know what it was," Dean said flatly. "You like him. He likes you. Everyone knows."

I had to do it now. Because I'd never have the courage to do it again. "Dean, I…" I felt my eyes fill with tears. "Maybe we should—"

"Break up," he said. "Be honest, Rory. You don't want to be with me anymore."

I couldn't lie. Not now. "That doesn't make it hurt any less!" I almost cried. "Can't we…does it have to happen this way?"

"Listen, Rory. You don't really want to be with me anymore. And if you don't…then we're not together. That's all."

"Dean—"

"You really hurt me," he said. "Bye, Lorelai Gilmore."

The bus arrived. I got on and stared out the window for the whole ride, concentrating on holding back the tears.

Paris and I were assigned to the same study group again in history class. Afterwards, I followed her down the hall, not listening to her talk. I hadn't been able to concentrate all day. Paris stared at me, but I didn't notice.

"So, I've decided to fail all my tests and quizzes next week, cut class tomorrow, put graffiti on the walls, and tie bows on everyone's locker," she said.

"That's great, Paris," I replied absentmindedly.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

"I broke up with Dean." I slammed my locker door.

"Rory…" I couldn't wait for school to end. As soon as the last bell rang, I stuffed my books in my backpack, took the bus, and ran all the way to Luke's. Surprisingly, the only one there was Jess, cleaning the tables. I went up to him, meaning to tell him what had happened. Instead I started crying. Jess leaned forward and put his arms around me. I cried into Jess' shoulder, shaking, while he tried to comfort me.

Still crying, I looked up. "Jess—"

"Wait," he said, leaning over to write: _Gone, be back soon –Jess _on a napkin. He left it on the counter for Luke, and led me to the bridge, making sure no one else saw that I was crying.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly.

"I broke up with Dean. This morning. It's been two years and it's over."

Jess tightened his arm around me. I was shocked that he was being so understanding. He seemed to know what I was thinking.

"You think I don't know what it feels like?" he said. "Losing someone you really, really like?" He was looking right at me.

"Jess—" I tried again.

"Don't worry about it."

"I bet _you_ didn't cry," I said at last.

"I did, actually," he admitted. _Wow, a new side of Jess._

"Listen, Jess—maybe by now I didn't really, _really_ like Dean."

"You want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"You wanna be alone?"

I shook my head. "Not really." Jess smiled at me.

"So, want some coffee? On the house."

"Jess, this is the third time in a row!" I protested, starting to feel better.

"It is not. Those were for helping me. This is because any Gilmore under thirty who's crying automatically gets free coffee."

"So, just me, huh?"

"Basically."

This was incredibly unlike Jess. But I definitely didn't mind. And I knew he was trying to cheer me up. I grinned slightly, and we both stood up to go to the diner.


	9. I wanted world to paint

Chapter 9 – I wanted world to paint

Jess' POV

Disclaimer: As you all know from previous chapters, I own nothing to do with Gilmore Girls and I don't own any book or author references.

A/N: I know I say this in every chapter, but thanks so much to everyone for the great reviews! I NEVER thought I'd get reviews like that, and I'm really glad you're liking this! I never used to write stuff like this, but I really like doing it…this story is going to end up being a lot longer than I thought it would be! I know Rory and Dean's breakup was pretty typical, but I couldn't think of any other way to do it. Enjoy!   ~Arianna

I walked to Luke's with Rory. She sat down at the counter, and I went back to get her some coffee.

"Thanks, Jess," she said. There were still tears in her eyes.

"Are you really okay?" I asked.

"I will be. I never thought it would happen this way…"

"You thought it would happen?" I pressed.

"_Jess_."

"Was it because of me?" I shouldn't have asked. I really had to know. It was quite possible that Luke had been wrong. That Rory had only ever looked at me like her friend.

"Not entirely," Rory finally answered, looking away. _Not entirely? It was, it really was. Luke was right…_

"It must have hurt, huh?"

"It hurt a lot," she said shortly. "I have to get home."

"Okay. Want me to come…"

She shook her head. I was kind of disappointed.

"I would," she told me. "But…you probably shouldn't be around my house right now…"

I smiled slightly, and Rory left. _She broke up with Dean, she broke up with Dean. _It was all I could think about. It wasn't too long before Luke came storming in.

"I bet you've heard," he said.

"What?"

"Well, somebody must have told you!"

"Told me what?"

"Rory and Dean," he stated.

"Oh, that. Yes, I've heard. From Rory."

"That's just great! Luke yelled. "Get involved…leave her alone, she has to get over it, Jess!"

"Rory came to me."

"She what?"

"She came in, she told me. She was crying! What was I supposed to do, tell her to go away? Like I'd ever do that."

"You've _done_ it."

"Not to Rory."

The next night, after working at Luke's for a few hours, I went over to the bridge.  I hadn't seen Rory all day. She was sitting there, silently. I knew she was still upset. And I could understand. Even about Dean. I hated him, but I knew Rory didn't…she never would.

I walked over and sat next to her.

"Hey," she said softly.

"You're taking this really hard, aren't you?" I replied.

"I guess."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm just thinking…" she said.

"I really do know how it feels," I said finally.

"What do you mean?"

"When someone you care about doesn't want to be with you, and you know you hurt them and you wish you hadn't…" I'd said too much.

"Jess," Rory said. "I read Farewell to Arms."

"Did you like it?" I asked, moving closer to her on the bridge.

"Yeah, actually, I loved it," she told me, looking up at me. Suddenly, I leaned over and kissed her. And she kissed me back. It was great, it felt… I had never felt like that. I'd never kissed anyone like Rory.

Rory pulled away.

"Rory…I liked The Fountainhead too," I said. She put her arms around me, and kissed me again, quickly. I held her, and we stayed there for a while.

"I have to go," she explained, getting up.

"Rory…" I stood up too, putting a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. If—" It broke my heart to say this—"if you want to get back together with Dean…"

"I'm not getting back together with Dean. You were right."

I grinned.

"Read Ayn Rand's other stuff!" she called. I put my hands in my pockets and stared after her as she left. I was really glad I'd left New York. Because Rory was in Stars Hollow.

A couple hours later, the phone rang in the apartment. Luke was nowhere around, so I picked it up.

"Hey Jess," a familiar voice said.

"Hey, Rory." _She called me!_

"I…I thought we should talk." I carried the phone over to my bed and sat down.

"What about?"

"You know. What happened—on the bridge." 

"Oh yeah, that."

"Well, well…so what are we?"

"What are we?" I inquired.

"You kissed me, Jess!" she said.

"You kissed me," I replied softly.

"I know," Rory said, quietly. "And it was great." I was glad she was talking over the phone, because I couldn't stop smiling.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I've never…I've never felt anything like that…Jess? Did you—"

"I loved it," I assured her. I could tell she was grinning too.

"So what are we?" Rory asked me again.

"I don't know," I told her. "More than friends?"

She sounded happy. "More than friends," Rory agreed.


	10. And costumes to wear

Chapter 10 – And costumes to wear

Rory's POV

Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own anything to do with Gilmore Girls or any book or author references, or these chapter titles.

A/N: I hope you all like this chapter. The reviews are amazing, thanks to everyone who's reviewed! Also, I know Paris normally wouldn't really know Jess, but she had to for the story, so… She's not going to have a big role in the story, so it doesn't matter. On with the chapter!       ~Arianna

I actually spent almost an hour talking to Jess. I was still sort of in shock. I kissed Jess. I kissed Jess. Jess kissed me.

I thought it would take me forever to get over Dean, I almost thought I'd never stop crying. It _hurt_, it really hurt. But Jess made me feel better about everything. And when he kissed me—it was like I was flying. The truth was, it was nothing like kissing Dean. 

After I hung up, I opened The Sun Also Rises and started reading it again. I would probably be reading Hemingway for a while.

I got up early the next day and told my mom I would meet her at Luke's. She agreed, because she had just gotten up and was dying for blueberry pancakes, not to mention coffee. I grabbed my school stuff and hurried to the diner. Jess saw me out the window.

"Luke, I'll be right back!" I heard him yell.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Is it okay if I…" Jess asked.

"Yeah," I said. He leaned over and kissed me again. By the time I looked up, someone was standing there, watching us.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Rory?" Lorelai asked, staring meaningfully at me.

"Mom…" I let go of Jess and followed her into Luke's. "Mom, Dean and I broke up."

"Nice to know," she replied sarcastically. "How long?"

"The day before yesterday."

"Rory—"

"Listen, he said we should, I agreed, yeah I was hurt but…"

"But?"

"I went to Luke's afterwards, and Jess was there, and I cried and he was there for me and he didn't do anything, really, I promise…"

"I can _see_ that he didn't. So what happened between then and now?"

"He kissed me last night," I whispered.

"Last night?"

"At the bridge. And we talked and…I don't know if we're exactly together…"

"Rory," my mom said seriously, "are you happy with Jess?" She sounded resigned.

"Yes," I told her. I meant it.

"You should get to school," she said softly.

"I guess. See ya after school!"

"Yeah."

I took the bus to Chilton, ran to my locker, and got out my books.

"What a difference," Paris remarked.

"What are you talking about?" I demanded.

"One day you come in, all sad because you broke up with your boyfriend, you can't pay attention to anything anyone says. Today you're here grinning like you just got into all the Ivy League schools at once!"

"Nice comparison, Paris."

"You're crazy," she said.

"Jess kissed me." I was beaming.

"Guy who works in the diner?"

"_Yes!_"

"He's liked you forever."

"Well, now I like him too."

"You've always liked him."

"I'll take the fifth."

School was much, much better that day. I realized I was genuinely happy for the first time in a long time. I was going to have to explain all this to my mom. But that was later.

Jess was waiting for me at the bus stop.

"Hey!" I said.

"Hey." He put his arm around me and we started walking down the street. I put my arm around him too.

"Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"I like this more-than-friends thing," I told him.

"So do I," he replied, grinning at me. "Want to go to the bookstore?"

"Sure, I always do. But Jess—you know a while ago, when we were studying?"

"Uh huh."

"And you…"

"And I got upset and I cried. I admit it. To you, at least, Rory. What about that?"

"Well…now you know you can trust me."      

"Rory, I always did…"

"No, it's okay. I just wanted you to know that I know it hurts to talk about, but if you want to tell anyone, ever, you can tell me."

"I know. C'mon, let's go to the bookstore. When I get the courage to tell you…I will."

I squeezed his shoulder. "You can do anything, Jess." I really did think that. I also really did think that Jess needed to tell someone about whatever had happened in New York. He was obviously upset about it, still. Luke probably knew part of it. But I was sure that for now, Jess was the only one who knew it all.

We walked into the bookstore. I was still leaning on Jess. Andrew stared at us.

"Thought you said you weren't seeing her?" I glanced up at Jess.

"Long story," he muttered. To Andrew, he said, "Things are different now." When Jess went over to look at some old books on a shelf, Andrew motioned for me to come closer.

"What are you doing hanging around with him, Rory?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You're a good kid—"

"So is Jess! Or he can be… Nobody's given him a chance, nobody else can see it!"

"There's nothing to see."

"Yes, there _is!_" I was really mad. Why couldn't anyone else see that Jess was hiding, acting the rebel because he was hurt? Why was I the only one who knew he'd never hurt me? And then he said it.

"Rory, none of us want you to be hurt."

"I broke up with Dean," I said. "Jess was there for me. He understood, he got me through it. Not my mom, not Lane, Jess. He's just hurt, he just doesn't—" I had promised. I couldn't say any more. "That's all I can say. But he's a good friend and he would never do anything to me; you should see that! Someone should see that." I really hadn't planned on Andrew being the first person I said that stuff to. But I wasn't sorry I'd said it. At all.

"You want us to give him a chance," Andrew said.

"Yeah."

I did. I really did.


	11. I think it was here

Chapter 11 – I think it was here

Jess' POV

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Gilmore Girls or any book or author references, or these chapter titles, just like I didn't own them when I wrote the last ten chapters.

A/N: Finally, the story that has been a mystery since chapter four…you'll see what I mean! It took me a long time to figure this out, but I did, so here it is! It might not be completely realistic, but it's all I could think of, so I hope you like it. I know this doesn't sound serious enough to make Jess that upset, but it's emphasized more in the next chapter. To Emmy – the play Pippin is sort of historical w/fantasy added, it's set in Charlemagne's reign. I hope you all like this. Thanks again to everyone for the reviews! 

       ~Arianna

I could hear most of what Rory was saying. It surprised me, it really surprised me. I hadn't thought anyone, even Rory, would stand up for me like that. She finished and came over to look at the shelf I was looking at.

"Rory…"

"Jess."

"I heard."

"I thought you might."

"Thanks," I said to her. She smiled.

"You're welcome."

I reached up and pulled a book off the shelf. "You should read this, it's great."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." It was The Mysterious Island. "Verne was French, so you'd expect to be able to tell, except several of the characters are Union soldiers in the American Civil War, which is interesting…"

"That does sound good." She turned the book over. "So is this a good summary on the back?"

"No, it's pretty bad. Just read it…don't you trust me?" I grinned, turning to look at her. Then I got more serious. "Rory, if you want me to tell you, I will."

"I do," she replied, and put her arm around me again. "Let's go to the bridge."

"Okay," I said when we were sitting down, looking over the lake. It sort of reminded me of the park back in New York. "This might take a while…"

"It's all right."

"Okay. I learned to read when I was a really little kid…you know all those newspaper stands in New York?" She nodded. "I used to ask the guys at the stands for papers, and I usually got them, even though they'd look at me like I was crazy." Rory grinned at that. "So when I got old enough, I'd try to earn money in various ways and then go to this bookstore near the apartment. Liz…she kind of…I don't know how to say this. She stopped going to school." I stopped, uncomfortable. Rory rested her head on my shoulder, and I continued.

"She never had any big plans for me or anything…no Harvard."

"You could if you wanted to," Rory whispered.

"Oh, I don't think that's me," I replied.

"Don't believe that. So you're good at acting. So you're good at pretending you don't care. You do, I know you do, and you're smart."

I started my story again. "She didn't particularly care if I went to school. I basically just brought books home and went to my room and read. Austen, Bronte, Melville, Dickens, Twain…"  
  


"Good choices."

"Yeah. But Liz didn't understand. Why I would want to read stuff like that. She wanted me to do stuff for her. She wouldn't let me go anywhere if I didn't. Course, I got around that…it wasn't hard to get out when she was drunk. It wasn't all the time, just often enough. While she…I would just…" I had never told this to anyone. It was really hard to say. "I would just lock myself in my room and cry."

"Oh, Jess. I'm sorry…"

"I'm pretty different now. I figured it wouldn't do me any good, crying all the time. I just decided I wasn't gonna do that anymore."

"You're not so different when someone gets to know you."

"Is that good?"

"Yeah."

"Well, anyway, I got to know some guys around the apartment. None of them knew how to read, even, I don't think. They got into trouble a lot; so did I. People saw me reading; they didn't get it. You know: 'That kid can't read classics…he's the one who gets into trouble every other day.' I got teased a lot."

"Jess…"

I knew she wanted to say something to comfort me, but I didn't want to hear it, not now. I tightened my arm around Rory.

"Then Liz told me this one time to get out of the house if I wanted to read; I started hanging around Washington Square Park. Luke called after a while to ask if Liz was okay, and she insisted I go live with him…she didn't want me there. That was it. And I can't say it was great."

"I couldn't have done that," she told me.

"It's just…when we were studying, it reminded me…and I lost it. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I mean it. Jess…thanks for telling me."

"You're the only one who knows."

"I know."

I kissed her again. She grinned at me. "So what did you think when you found out about coming here?"

"First I wasn't that excited."

"I bet."

"I liked you immediately."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Rory leaned toward me and kissed me. I held her tightly. We finally broke apart, and Rory turned around suddenly. Dean was standing there, staring at us. Rory turned back to me. I couldn't help grinning.

"You okay?" I asked.

"I'm okay."

"I guess…I should really get back to work…" I said reluctantly.

"I'll come. I need coffee."

"Should have known."

"Of course." Rory looked up at me. "Jess, I know that hurt…"

"It was worth it."

"Glad you think so."

"And I guess…I needed to tell someone."

"You're learning fast, Jess Mariano."

"I'm trying." I reached out and pulled her close. _Rory kissed me. She saw Dean, and she wants to be with me. I have never felt like this. _This was everything I'd wanted. I never would have guessed. Stars Hollow, Connecticut. It was a lot better than it looked at first.****


	12. It never was there

Chapter 12 – It never was there

Rory's POV

Disclaimer: As everyone reading this story has read over and over again, and are probably not reading anymore, because all my disclaimers say the same thing: I don't own anything to do with Gilmore Girls, the chapter titles of chapters 1 through 12, or any book or author references.

A/N: I know it's been a while since the last chapter, because I was on vacation for a week. However, I have now finished writing this, but it's gonna take a while to type it all. Hopefully not too long. There are several more chapters after this one. I hope you all like this. More will be up soon. I also wrote another shorter fic, which should also be up soon. I'm trying to start yet another (writing these is really fun, actually), but I can't think of _anything_, so if anyone has any ideas, please tell me! FYI, this starts immediately after chapter 11 ends. Thanks for the reviews, and enjoy!      ~Arianna

I admit, I was shocked when I saw Dean. Standing there, watching Jess and I kissing. Maybe…maybe he did miss me. But I realized—I was happy with Jess. Really happy. And my mom said that was what was important…I still hated that I'd hurt Dean.

After Jess telling me that story...that meant he really trusted me. I was—am—so sorry for him. I can't imagine growing up like that. My mom has always been my best friend. And Jess…he had no one to talk to, no one to hold him while he cried, no one to tell him it was going to be okay. No one really cared about him at all until he was sixteen.

Nobody else in Stars Hollow knew that. They just thought he was a screwed up kid.

Then another thought struck me. _Someone saw us. By the end of the day, everyone in town is going to know. _Oh well. I could deal with that.

We walked back to the diner, Jess' arm around me. It felt good. It took me a while to admit it to myself, but it felt better even than Dean had made me feel. Both of us were quiet, understanding. I didn't know that I _could_ have told anyone that story Jess had told me, if it had been me.

"Jess?" I said at last.

"Rory?"

"The way you sounded…"

"When?" Jess said quietly.

"No Harvard," I whispered. Jess just looked away and didn't say anything. "You want it, don't you?" I said.

"What?"

"Harvard. Yale. A future to look forward to…"

"I've got that."

"Not the way you could have it," I told him.

"What is that supposed to mean?" His eyes flashed.

"No, Jess, please don't be mad."

"I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"Not at you."

I smiled. "You've got a whole summer before the SAT's. And who would you rather study with?"

"Ah, Rory…" I didn't look away, just stared straight into his brown eyes. He gave up. "No crying this time, I promise," he said.

"I don't mind. Hey, you agreed! After less than a minute! It's a miracle! It's—"

Jess laughed. "Okay, I thought you hadn't had coffee yet."

"So you will?"

"Yeah," he said. "It couldn't hurt. I will." He kissed me again, quickly, and we walked into the diner together.

"Jess. Rory. Upstairs." Luke slammed down his tray and pointed up at the apartment. Jess and I glanced at each other.

"Okay, okay, we're going!" Jess told him. Luke watched us go up the stairs.

"This is weird," I said.

"It's Luke."

"Can you take over for a minute, Caesar?" we heard Luke yell. Then: "Yeah, it's an emergency!"

Jess groaned. I looked at him curiously, but didn't have time to say anything before Luke came upstairs.

"Okay, Jess, the chair. Rory, the couch," Luke ordered. "No, Rory, not this couch, that one."

"Hey Luke, I'm sure I'll be fine here," I said.

"You guys listen, I'll talk. What do you think you're doing? As if no one's gonna see you on the bridge!" I stared at Jess, horrified.

"Already?" I said.

"Yes already!" Luke yelled. "Everyone in Stars Hollow knows that you're together!"

"Why is that a problem?" Jess demanded. Luke ignored him.

"You are to stay three feet apart whenever you're alone," he informed us. "I will request people to watch you all over town, I promise. The minute you do anything, everyone will know. You—"

"Luke!" Jess interrupted. He said more softly, "I'm not going to do anything. I wouldn't do that."

"I know you wouldn't," I told Jess. He smiled at me.

"You wouldn't?" Luke said, rather skeptically. Jess looked hurt.

"Yeah, he wouldn't," I said. Both Jess and Luke turned to me, surprised. I gave Jess an apologetic look before saying, "I trust Jess. And I'm still Rory, Luke. Nothing will happen. I promise."

Luke stared at me for a long time, then at Jess, without saying anything.

"Everyone in town is gonna be watching you two!" he said finally. "Everyone will want to know. They already do."

Jess, who had been turned away ever since I'd said I trusted, looked up. "Check up on us if you want!" he said, annoyed.

"But after you go back downstairs, you know what we're gonna do?" I said quietly to Luke.

"Stuff I don't want to know about," he said grimly.

"Start studying for the SAT's," Jess told him.

"You're kidding."

I grinned. "No." Jess got up from his chair and came to sit next to me. Luke sighed.

"I mean it," he told us.

"We know," I replied. Luke left. Jess and I looked right into each other's eyes, the happiness in mine reflected in his. He kissed me, and I kissed him back.

"Did you mean that?" Jess asked.

"Mean what?"

"When you said you trusted me. Even…thanks for saying it."

"Yeah, of course I meant it!"

"_Why?_"

"Because you let me see Jess, even when I first met you. Not the rebel, too-cool-for-school guy, just Jess. I told you—I know you wouldn't hurt me! Really."

"I…don't know what to say right now."

"So which of the Ivy League schools are you planning to apply to?" I got up to get paper and a pen, and I sat down, leaning on Jess. He put his arm around me and listened to me talk about calculus.

After a while, I saw Luke glance into the room, watching us. He didn't think either of us had seen him, and I didn't point him out to Jess. He watched us for a while, sitting close together, talking and occasionally laughing, both of us having fun. And I saw Luke smile slightly and go back downstairs to the diner.

I couldn't help thinking about that movie night. My first date with Dean. I heard his words over and over in my mind: _"You really hurt me, Lorelai Gilmore." _

"You're upset," Jess said.

"N-no, I'm fine."

"It's about him."

"Jess…"

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

"Don't tell anyone."

"I won't."

"Okay." I began the story. "I was waiting for the bus, and he came up and I said hi and started talking and he said we should break up…"

"Oh, Rory."

"He said I really hurt him, and he left, and I cried." I started to cry again, silently. Jess pulled me closer.

"Shhh, it's okay."

"Jess…"

"It's gonna be okay, Ror."

"Thanks for listening." I couldn't stop crying. Jess just held me. I was really glad he was there.

"Hey, Rory."

"Yeah?"

He smiled; didn't let go of me. "I've been thinking. Harvard, Yale, maybe Columbia and Princeton. I mean, it doesn't matter if I get in, at least I'll have applied." That got me to stop crying. I grinned at Jess.

"Are you just saying that to make me feel better?"

He grinned back. "Maybe."


	13. I meant it and I'm glad you said it

Chapter 13 – I meant it and I'm glad you said it

Jess' POV

Disclaimer: Once again, I own nothing to do with Gilmore Girls, nor do I own any book or author references. I _do_ own the titles of this chapter and the next four, because I'm making them up.

A/N: This chapter may not be my best, but I liked writing it (I like writing all of this), and I hope you all like it. Review and tell me what you think! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far, and if you haven't, please do! (Finally, I'm not writing a really long A/N. lol) And the part at the very end of this: I know it's not really in character, but I wanted to write it, and I thought it was kind of funny. Besides, it's important for the story. So on with the chapter!       ~Arianna

That talk with Luke was not exactly what I'd been hoping for. Okay, I admit it—I'd wanted to go up to the apartment and kiss Rory. If she wanted me to.

I know Luke did that and said that stuff because he was worried about Rory. Because he didn't want me to hurt her. Because…he didn't want me to try anything.

Rory was right in saying that I would never do that. She knows me better than anyone does. I'll take care of her. I'll do anything for her. Including applying to Ivy League schools.

She even knew me well enough to hear that in my voice when I said it. I wanted what she had. People who cared about me. Great grades I knew I could get…confidence in my ability to get into a good college. At least now I had Rory, and really, to me, for now, that was enough. Telling her what had happened, why I'd cried, actually did make me feel better.

Rory and I started spending more time together. I loved it. I mean, I used to force myself through every day. Now I actually looked forward to things. And pretty soon it was official. Rory was my girlfriend; I was her boyfriend.

We went to the bookstore this one day that summer. We walked in. Rory was laughing; so was I. Miss Patty was in the store, looking for new dance books. I saw her glance at us, a worried look on her face. _Oh no_, I thought.

"What's wrong, Jess?" Rory said to me.

"Oh, nothing," I replied. She followed my glance to Miss Patty, who was still staring at us. Rory smiled at me and we went over to the literature section together.

That night, I left Luke's and went to the bridge to think. I did think it was nice that everyone in Stars Hollow cared about Rory. I could understand that. But all of them, except Luke and Lorelai, who Rory had managed to convince, thought I was going to hurt her. Wanted to protect her from me. Rory was the smartest person I knew. And she wouldn't want me to be her boyfriend if I were the kind of person who did stuff like that. But I could see it, what everyone thought of us being together.

Then I heard a soft voice say, "Hey, Jess."

"Hey, Ror," I answered. She came over to sit with me.

"Jess, tell me what's wrong. Since the bookstore…"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"You tell me everything!" Her voice got quieter. "I didn't mean you have to tell me everything. Just tell me what's wrong…I know it's about me."

"Aw, Rory, don't think that."

"Jess."

"Okay…you aren't going to give up, are you?" I asked her.

"No."

"Rory…you've seen everybody looking at us."

"Yeah," she admitted.

"Everybody here likes you. That's great, and I can understand it. But—"

"But they all hate you. And they think you're gonna hurt me, they think you're gonna break my heart. I know. I'm sorry. I didn't think…it must be hard."

"It's not that. It's hard for you too, Rory, I know that. And if…" I looked at her, and I knew she knew what I meant. "I couldn't take it," I finally said.

"I couldn't either." I was relieved to hear that. "Yeah, it's hard sometimes," Rory continued, "but it's worth it." She moved closer to me.

"I love you, Rory," I said softly.

She put her arms around me and kissed me. "I love you, Jess." That was the best feeling in the world. I held Rory tightly and started kissing her. After a while, she pulled away, but we stayed close together. A cool breeze was coming across the lake; you could see the moon, a crescent, reflected on the water.

"It's magical," Rory whispered.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Thank you for saying that."

"I meant it," I said seriously.

"So did I."

"You know that literacy dinner next week?" I said. Rory nodded. "Well…will you go with me?" I asked.

Her face lit up. "I'd love to."

I grinned. "Good." We sat there for a long time, silently. Then I realized how late it was. "Hey, I'll walk you home," I said.

"Okay." We both got up. "The dinner's gonna be great," she said.

"It's the best idea this town has ever come up with," I agreed.

"Oh, you weren't here for the Doose's Market opening ceremony," she teased. I laughed. 

We got to her house. I leaned in and kissed her quickly. "See ya tomorrow."

"See ya, Jess!" she called. Luke stared at me as I walked into the diner.

"Jess. You're smiling."

I couldn't stop. I decided to tell Luke. Not something I'd normally do, but I was on too much of a natural high to care. "Rory told me she loved me."

Luke actually grinned. "That's great, Jess." He looked at me questioningly.

"I told her I loved her, too," I said.

"She's really changed you."

"Maybe."

"I never thought I'd see Jess Mariano even think about an Ivy League school."

"Yeah, well."

"We all ought to thank her."

"I have."

"She really does, you know," Luke told me.

"Really does what?"

"She really loves you. Anyone can see it." Again, I couldn't help grinning.

"I'm glad."

"Hey, Jess?"

I turned around. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I didn't trust you about Rory. I know…you care about her."

"I understand," I replied. "Hey, do you know a place where you can get charms?"

Luke started to laugh. "You're asking me?"

I laughed too. "Right. Bad idea."                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              


	14. It's all good and I can get free coffee

Chapter 14 – It's all good and I can get free coffee

Rory's POV

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with Gilmore Girls or any book or author references. I don't think there are any in this chapter, but saying that can't hurt.

A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this up. I'm starting a new fic now and I have some good (I hope) ideas for it; it'll be up soon but I want to try to finish posting this one first. There are still several more chapters to go. There's not much excitement in this chapter, but it's gonna get better. So, on with the story, and once again, please review!!   ~Arianna

I got home that night, happier than any time I could remember. I kissed Jess, and then hurried inside.

"Mom!" I said.

"What is it, Rory? You had a good time with Jess?"

My eyes sparkled. "Yeah, it was great!"

She came over, looking at me suspiciously. "Why?" As much as I had convinced her that Jess wouldn't do anything to me, I knew she still didn't _entirely_ trust him.

"Mom. It's not anything bad! Jess…Jess told me he loved me."

She smiled. "Rory, that's great! Did you…"

"Yeah, I said I loved him."

"Guess you learned, huh?" Then she realized what she'd said. "Oh Rory, I'm sorry!"

"It's okay."

"It's just…I don't know. It took you so long with Dean…"

"With Jess…it felt right. I just knew I meant it…it was amazing. I've never felt like that."

"I know," my mom said softly.

"I'm sorry."

"Oh, you have nothing to be sorry for!"

"I know you don't really like Jess."

"I will. You love him; I have to like him. Be happy. You've got a guy you really care about who loves you back, not to mention an opportunity for free coffee!"

I grinned. "Okay. I am. Really happy."

Jess had to work the next afternoon, so I went to the Inn to see what was going on.

"Hi Rory," my mom called. "I'll be over in a second; I have to talk to Sookie."

"Okay!" I called back. "Hi, Michel."

"Don't you have to meet your boyfriend?"

"He's working," I explained.

"You could help him work," Michel suggested hopefully.

"Actually, that's okay," I said. "I'd better go talk to my mom."

"Don't worry, you can stay over there for as long as you want." That's Michel for you.

"Hey mom," I said, walking up to her as she left the kitchen.

"Hey, Ror. I have some bad news…"

"Really? What is it?"

"You know the literacy dinner?"

"Uh huh." _Please don't let it be canceled._

"And it happened because of Jackson's friend."

"Right."

"Well, Jackson has to be out of town on the weekend we were planning it on. He insists he has to be there, so it has to be postponed." She sighed.

"Just postponed, right? Not canceled."

"Yeah, of course. Why so worried?"

"It's nothing…last night, Jess asked me to go with him." I smiled.

"Awwww."

"Mom."

"No, really." Mom looked at me. "I would never have expected Jess to _say_ he loved anyone…but he really does love you."

"How do you know?"

"Rory, everyone's known, ever since Jess met you." I put my face in my hands. "What is it?"

"Watching me with Dean…talking to him about it…he comforted me when I broke up with him! That must have hurt Jess so much…"

"You know what? I don't think he minds. Why don't you go tell him that the dinner is rescheduled for next Saturday?"

"He's working…"

"I'm sure Luke will give him a break. Go on."

"Thanks," I said. "See ya later!" I got my books and went to Luke's. Jess grinned when he saw me come in, and leaned over the counter and kissed me.

"Hey," I said.

"Luke!" Jess yelled, turning around, "Can I go on break?"

"Now!"

"Yeah, why not, I'll be back."

"Fine!"

Jess put his arm around me. "You wanna talk about anything?"

"Sort of. See, remember you asked me to go with you to the literacy dinner?"

"Yeah." Jess turned to face me. "Why?"

"Jackson's gonna be out of town that Saturday, and he says he has to be there. So it's rescheduled for next Saturday. I'm sorry. I—"

"It's not your fault." He pulled me closer. "You can still go, can't you?"

"Of course."

"So will you go with me?" He smiled. I kissed him again. 

"I'd love to. You'd better get back to work. Luke's gonna come out here looking for you."

"You're right."

"Bye, Jess!"

"See ya, Rory!"

Being around Jess always made me excited and happy, made me want to see him again as soon as possible. I loved the way I knew I could tell him anything. I couldn't wait for next Saturday. And I honestly didn't care what anyone thought of me being with Jess. Not anymore. Maybe, maybe I never really had. 


	15. People notice in Stars Hollow

Chapter 15 – People notice in small towns

Jess' POV

Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do w/ Gilmore Girls, nor do I own any book or author references (and I am getting tired of typing disclaimers). lol

A/N: Sorry this is so short, but it's kind of a filler chapter to show that this stuff happened. The next one's longer! Please review if you haven't, and thanks again for all the great reviews! I'm really glad you like this!       

    ~Arianna

I got scared for a second when Rory started talking about the dinner. I thought…I don't know. That she was gonna tell me she wanted to go with Dean or something. I didn't care about if being rescheduled, as long as Rory could go. I had something planned.

I convinced Luke to give me the afternoon off, and I actually managed to do it without telling him what I was going to do. I went to this 'everything store' in Stars Hollow and went up to the desk.

"You're Luke's nephew," the woman at the desk stated.

"Yeah."

"Jess Mariano."

"That's me."

"You're dating Rory Gilmore?"

I started getting mad. "Yeah, I am."

"She isn't going to be able to take it. She's special…"

"Rory? Of course she's special. And what do you mean? Take what?"

"If you break up with her…"

"I'm not going to."

"No?"

"No," I said shortly. "Definitely not. Are you going to help me or not?"

"Sure, fine. What do you want?" I described what I was looking for, and she got it for me and put it in a small box.

"Thanks," I said.

"She'll like it," she told me.

"I hope so."

"She will." I grinned and left. There was no one in the diner when I got back, so I went upstairs and put the box next to a picture of Rory and I that was on my desk.

"So you got it," Luke said from behind me.

"Got what?"

"Something for Rory."

"Yeah."

"What is it?"

"You'll see later."

"When?" 

"Next Saturday."

"You're taking her to that dinner?"

"Uh huh. Are we playing twenty questions or what?" Then I got an idea. "Why don't you ask Lorelai?"

"Where did you get that idea?"

"You know how you knew I liked Rory before…we were…"

"Yeah."

"That's how." I grabbed Great Expectations from my shelf.

"Jess."

"Luke," I replied.

"Jess."

"It's true. I don't have to work now, do I? There's no one in the diner."

"I _know_ there's no one in the diner. Fine, no, you don't have to work."

"Okay."

"Jess?"

"Yeah?'

"This is good. What you're doing for Rory."

"Good."

"Will you tell me what you got her already?"

"No. Bye."

As I closed the door to the diner, I heard several people talking in front of Doose's Market. I walked behind them, silently, trying to hear what they were saying. Taylor was talking to a group of people.

"She went to her mother's Inn this afternoon, that's good, but then to the diner to visit him." _Uh-oh. _"This afternoon, he went to a shop in downtown Stars Hollow. What he bought is unknown…"

I turned the other way, not wanting to hear any more. They were talking about Rory and me. They were _chronicling _what we did every day. They were discussing what they were going to do about it. As if that's any of their business. The problem with small towns… I knew Rory would hate this. I did. And I couldn't think about what would happen if…_ No. No. She said she couldn't take it, she said she loved me. Rory doesn't do stuff like that. _I knew that. I guess I was just scared. I mean, no one like Rory had ever liked me.

Taylor spying on us was well worth being with Rory. That was an easy conclusion. 


	16. I think everything is perfect right now

Chapter 16 – I think everything's perfect right now

****

Rory's POV

Disclaimer: For the sixteenth time, I don't own anything to do with Gilmore Girls or any book or author references.

A/N: Okay, I think this is my favorite chapter so far. Thank you all for the great reviews! I get really excited when I login and see that I've gotten more, and then I usually start typing another chapter…anyway, thanks. lol. I hope you like this!    ~Arianna

It seemed to take forever until the next Saturday. I was so excited about the dinner, I couldn't concentrate at all on Friday. But it finally came. Mom was already at the Inn with Michel and Sookie, getting it ready, when Jess came to pick me up. I was wearing a blue skirt and darker blue sweater. I hurried outside, smiling.

"Hey," I said.

"Hey, Rory. You look great."

"Thanks." I got into the car.

"So what do you know about this?" Jess asked as he drove to the Inn.

"Surprisingly, not much," I answered. "The food's supposed to be a lot of nineteenth-century stuff, you know, from a lot of books. Miss Patty and Taylor are gonna do some short readings, everyone's getting a copy of our book list."

"Readings?"

I laughed. "Yeah, not long." I paused. "Thanks, Jess. This really means a lot."

"What does?"

"Asking me to come with you…all of it. Thanks."

He smiled. "No problem." We got to the Inn and got out of the car. Jess reached over and pulled me toward him. "Thanks for coming, Rory."

We walked in together. My mom was standing at the desk near the door, greeting people.

"Hi, Mom!" I called.

"Hi, Rory. Hi, Jess." I went over to her.

"How's it look so far?" I asked.

"Oh, great. Taylor's hyperventilating about the acoustics for his reading, everyone in town seems to be here, Sookie's getting everything perfect and it looks amazing."

"I'm glad," I replied.

"See ya later!" She walked forward to greet Babette and Morey. Jess and I went into the dining room.

"Hey," I said to him, thinking of something. "Did Luke come?"

"I think he was going to," Jess replied.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I know. But who's gonna be in the diner now?"

"Yeah." Then I noticed the huge collage of book posters on the back wall of the dining room. "Wow, Jess, look!"

"How did they get all those?"

"How did they get all those without me knowing about it?" I wondered. Jess laughed. "Maybe they'll need someone to take them, after tonight," I said hopefully.

"It's possible," Jess agreed, clearly amused.

"Oh, be quiet," I grinned.

My mom's voice came over the loudspeaker. "Okay, everyone please sit down!" We all did. "We're very glad you're here tonight; this is the first time we've done this and we hope it becomes one of Stars Hollow's traditions. I'd like to give a special thanks to Sookie St. James, the chef of the Independence Inn, for preparing this entire amazing meal." Everyone clapped. "Most of this food is from the nineteenth century, 'cause we figure, hey, a lot of novels come from that time." She grinned. "Enjoy, and please stay in your seats after the meal; we've got some surprises for you."

Everyone clapped again, and she sat down.

"So what have you been reading lately?" I asked Jess. We talked all the way through the meal. I was admiring the book lists, which were printed on light blue paper with fancy lettering.

"Okay," my mom said when everyone had pretty much finished. "Now we're going to have some readings: first, Miss Patty from Oliver Twist."

Miss Patty stepped up to the microphone, and I turned to look at Jess. "Hey, Dodger," I said, grinning.

After that, Taylor read from The Sun Also Rises.

"Who would have thought Taylor had good taste in books?" Jess asked.

"He doesn't know what's good, obviously," I replied.

"Uh huh."

"There are tons of good authors he could be reading," I argued. "But can you imagine Taylor reading Pride and Prejudice?" I started laughing at that, but stopped quickly, knowing what would happen if Taylor saw me.

"I don't even want to," Jess replied, trying not to laugh.

When Taylor finished, my mom went over to the microphone again.

"Hi everybody," she said. We all looked at her. "Thanks to everyone who participated in setting this up. We couldn't have done this without any of you. Right now, I'd like to call attention to the two people who wrote the book lists you've all been provided with: Rory Gilmore and Jess Mariano."

Jess and I looked at each other, surprised.

"Did you know about this?" he asked.

"No, definitely not!" I said.

"Jess and Rory," my mom said softly, "our whole town owes you an apology." I was shocked. Jess was too, I think. "Yeah, we thought…we didn't want you to be together. Jess—we thought you were going to hurt Rory." Jess put his arm around me; I rested my head on his shoulder. "We know now," Mom continued, "that that's not going to happen. We shouldn't have jumped to conclusions like we did, shouldn't have been spying on you, ever. So we're sorry." She paused. "Goodnight."

I couldn't speak. _Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh…_

"I can't believe this," I finally said.

"Me neither," Jess agreed, his voice shaking slightly. We both got up and walked outside, Jess' arm still around me.

"Jess…" I said, not knowing what to say.

"It's okay, Rory," he said quietly. "Rory…come over here." He led me over to a bench. It was quiet, beginning to get dark. "I want to tell you…you're special, Rory. You're amazing. I know I'm really different since I met you. And actually, I'm glad." I couldn't believe Jess was saying all this for me. _I am so lucky. To be here. In Stars Hollow. With Jess. _"And I wanted to give you this." He handed me a small box. I opened it slowly.

Inside was a silver necklace, with a charm shaped like an open book.

"Jess…it's…it's incredible. I love it! Thank you!" I threw my arms around him and kissed him. He kissed me back. It was wonderful. I quickly put the necklace on. My eyes filled with tears. I was so happy right then.

Jess kissed me again. Then he stood up, and so did I. I didn't know how to tell him how much this meant to me. He seemed to understand, though. We started walking together through Stars Hollow, back to Luke's. Everything seemed lit up and magical.

On the way, I saw my mom walking with Luke.

"Jess!" I said. "Look."

He grinned. "I told him to ask Lorelai."

"You did?"

"Everyone knows he likes her."

"Yeah…she likes him, too."

"I know."

"Thanks, Jess. For tonight. For everything." I looked up at him. "I love you."

"I love you, Rory," he replied. We smiled at each other. Then I caught my mom's eye form across the street and grinned at her. They were looking straight at us: Lorelai at me, Luke at Jess. Jess smiled at me again, and I moved closer to him. And right then, everything was perfect. I wanted it all to stay exactly like that, forever. I knew, really knew, I would never forget it.

****


	17. And I never thought anything could be th...

Chapter 17/ Epilogue – I never thought anything could be this good

Jess' POV

Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with Gilmore Girls, I don't own any book or author references, and I am not associated in any way with Harvard University. 

A/N: Okay, this is the last chapter. I was going to end it at chapter 16, but I got this idea, so I wrote it. I hope you all like it. FYI, I don't know much about college acceptance letters, so I made it up. Sorry if it's wrong. Thanks SO much to everyone for reviewing! I really appreciate it; it's great to read them and all of them make me want to write more. I've loved writing this; it's been a lot of fun, and I hope you've all liked reading it as much as I've liked writing it. I'm starting a new fic, and it should be up soon, as soon as I can think of a name for it! lol. If anyone has any ideas for a story (preferably literati), please tell me! Also, please review if you haven't. Sorry for the long A/N. Thanks again for the reviews, and for reading this, and on with the story!

   ~Arianna

And then, after a great summer with Rory, it was fall and I was a senior at Stars Hollow High. Still catching up in some courses, but I was in Honors English. It really wasn't that hard. And I knew the reason it had happened.

I took the SAT's in October. I knew I hadn't done _that_ badly. Rory insisted that I'd done really well. I appreciated her thinking that, whether it was true or not.

People eventually stopped staring at me like I was evil. It made things easier; I knew Rory was glad too.

And then, before long, I sent in my applications. Rory still desperately wanted to get into Harvard. She was terrified; I kept telling her she would get in—she only partially believed me. 

In early spring, there was an envelope in the mail with the Harvard logo in the corner and my name, Jess Mariano, on the front. I brought it inside, but I couldn't open it. It was hard to admit, but I was scared. About being wrong. Maybe I should never have listened. Maybe I should never have tried.

I heard Rory's voice in my head: _"You can do anything, Jess."  "Why haven't you done this?"  "Teachers have been known to make sudden decisions based on sudden increase of enthusiasm…"  "You're the only person I know who reads like I do."_

Slowly, I opened the letter.

_Mr. Mariano:_

_We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Harvard University._

I couldn't see anything else. I just sat there, staring at it. I had never expected that, never…I'd only applied because Rory asked me to…I couldn't believe it. _I got in. I really got in._

Luke came up the stairs. I didn't look up.

"Hey, Jess—" Then he noticed the envelope on the bed next to me. "Jess…" He leaned over, reading the letter over my shoulder. "Jess, that's great! You got in! What's wrong?"

I guess, right then, I finally realized what had happened.

"Nothing." I grinned. "I never thought this would happen."

"Congratulations."

"Thanks."

"You know the reason for this."

"Of course." I picked up the phone to call Rory. Lorelai answered it.

"Hey Jess."

"Hey. Is Rory there?"

"No, sorry, she just left."

"Okay. Bye." I hung up. Then someone ran up the stairs and opened the door. It was Rory.

"Jess!" She was holding the book charm I'd given her and smiling. "Jess…I got into Harvard!" _Wow. I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe this is happening._

"Rory…" I said.

"Yeah?" 

"So did I."

I've never seen her that happy. I've never seen anyone that happy. She ran across the room and threw her arms around me, and I hugged her back and started kissing her.

"Congratulations, Jess!" she said, sitting next to me. She was crying slightly, and I sort of started crying too. Rory noticed, of course. "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine," I said quickly. "You got in, congratulations, Rory, that's great!"

"Jess, you're going to Harvard!"

"Rory, you're going to Harvard."

"I know."

"Who else knows?" I asked, wiping my eyes and grinning at her.

"I told you first," she said. "What about you?"

"Luke."

"Was he surprised?"

"Sort of, yeah."

"I'm gonna go tell my mom."

"Okay." 

She hugged me again. "I knew you could do it," she whispered, and left, literally beaming.

And I thought things like that only happened in books.


End file.
